


Some Sleeping Beauty Ass Bullshit

by black_dipped_roses



Series: Age Old Tales like Love [2]
Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Sleeping Beauty Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2015-11-17
Packaged: 2018-05-02 02:32:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5230538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/black_dipped_roses/pseuds/black_dipped_roses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Logan and Scott have had a long day. First the team is down a lot of people for a multitude of reasons Logan doesn't give a shit about. Then the X-Men get a call saying all these kids have been kidnapped and will be killed if no one shows up at this address. And in addition to this new shit when they get there they become stuck. Literally. And Stark is in the same room Logan's stuck in. Ugh . . . And to top all of that off black smoke fills the abandoned warehouse that most of the Avengers, X-Men, two members of the justice league, and Wade (who Logan actually doesn't hate. That much.) are stuck in, leaving everyone unconscious as it fills the room. When Logan wakes up he's in some fucked to all hell fairy tale, and Scott won't wake the fuck up.</p><p>Or the Logan X Scott Sleeping Beauty AU, that absolutely no one asked for, with a twist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Sleeping Beauty Ass Bullshit

**Author's Note:**

> If you would like to know how Logan and Scott got stuck here please read the first installment of the series, but you, of course, don't have to. Thanks for reading!
> 
> This is a work of fictional parody in no way intended to infringe upon the rights of any individual or corporate entity. Any and all characters or celebrity personae belong to their rightful owners. Absolutely no money has or will be gained from this work. Please do not publicly link, repost or redistribute without letting me know first.

“Ugh, what the fuck just happened?” Logan sat up taking in his surroundings.

“Where the fuck am I?” The ground he had woken up on was green and felt like the best grass ever to grace the face of the Earth with its presence.

“What the fuck? What kind of fertilizer do these people even use?” Logan asked to no one bemused.

“Scott?” Logan looked around, not that he’d ever admit it, worriedly. He then noticed his clothing.

“Seriously WHERE THE FUCK AM I? IS THIS SOME FUCKING JOKE BECAUSE I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL RIP OUT YOUR EYEBALLS AND STABLE THEM TO THIS FUCKING TOWER WHILE I FEED YOUR VOCAL CORDS TO THE LOCAL WILDLIFE,” Never let it be said that Logan was not a wordsmith.

His loud outburst was caused by the nature of his clothes; he wore a snow white suit with golden embroidery and a white tie. Logan pulled off the suit jacket looking for a name which he found, “Howlett? What the- this can’t. No one besides-” Logan frantically scanned the area.

“Chuck? Erik? Anybody?! SCOTT!” Logan couldn’t see Scott, or anybody for that matter, anywhere, so he steeled himself for a fight and walked up into the gigantic palace no less than thirty feet in front of him.

L&S

Nobody. There was nobody here. Logan had gone through every room in this fucking palace and had found no one. And unless all of his friends, his family, were stuck in the big tower he had yet to check then he was the only person in a most likely pretty far distance.

“Scott? Come on someone’s gotta be here,” Logan muttered. When Logan opened the door the sight that greeted his eyes made him weep, internally of course (he had a reputation to uphold), because Scott was lying on the bed.

“Scott, fuck thank god. Scott?” Logan’s blood froze in his veins; Scott wasn’t moving. Logan rushed up to him and felt his pulse point.

Buh dump.

Logan sighed with relief; Scott was breathing.

“Come on bud, wake up. Scott, wake up. Scott wake up! SCOTT WAKE THE FUCK UP!” Logan began shaking Scott but to no avail.

“Fuck,” Logan ran a hand over his face wearily. “This day just can’t get any better,” Logan grunted.

Logan heard a rustle behind him and immediately jumped around ready for anything. He was met with the sight of a bird holding a small scroll in its beak. The bird promptly dropped the scroll and flew away.

“Huh?” Logan picked up the scroll cautiously and opened it.

_Blue eyes the color of the sky at the brink of night_

_Will only open if they are given a sight to behold._

_The sight of the bearer’s true love_

_Sealed with a kiss_

_Will be the only sight to open the prince’s eyes_

_But do hurry As the prince only has one day If he is not kissed by his true love within a day’s time_

_The prince’s blue eyes will never be seen again_

Logan didn’t like this.

He didn’t like this one bit because he couldn’t retract his claws, like he never had any.

Because Scott also had very rich looking, formal clothes on.

Because Scott wasn’t waking up no matter what Logan did.

And because Scott had blue eyes the color of the sky at “the brink of night”.

“Oh, fuck no. This is not some sleeping beauty ass bullshit,” Logan picked Scott up and dropped him on the bed. The pompous fuck didn’t even stir.

“God dammit!” Logan yelled reaching his wits end. What the fuck was he supposed to do? “That’s it I’m taking you to the closest town I can find, and I'm gonna fix this shit without holding auditions for your soulmate,"

He picked Scott up, luckily he hadn’t lost his strength, and carried him all the way to a village.

Luckily there were people there. Not many, but people. There were a lot more kids than adults but that didn’t seem too extraordinarily odd to Logan. When Logan found the center of the town he asked anyone he could find how to wake someone up with this certain . . . condition; he even went to the local healer (because appearently no one's ever heard of a doctor before), but no one could even give him a broad idea of what to do. So he did the only logical thing he could think of. He stood on top of a bench and called, as loud as he could without yelling, for all of the town’s people to line up, excluding children of course, and kiss the man in his arms.

“What? Why?!” The guy was elbowed in the side for a reason Logan decidedly didn’t give a shit about.

“The only way to wake him up is to have him be kissed by his true love,” Logan replied praying to whoever was up there to give him a break.

And whoever was up there must be at least a little merciful because, “Okay,” a man stepped up and kissed Scott.

Logan squelched the anger that came from watching some random guy kiss Scott and wrote it off as being a good friend by wanting to protect another friend’s virtue.

“Guess it’s not me,” the guy comments laughing and walks off.

Had Logan really been paying attention he’d have noticed how familiar that voice was, but since he wasn’t paying attention he didn’t notice a thing except how much he hated watching other people kiss Scott; _that_ he noticed. In fact it was becoming harder and harder for him to not notice it. He’ll admit Scott has a great ass and the rest of him isn’t horrible to look at either, but he doesn’t have fucking feelings. Okay well he does have _fucking_ feelings, but that’s beside the point. The point is Logan was neither possessive nor jealous. And fuck anybody who said otherwise. After making every single fucking person in the village, besides the kids, kiss Scott he had no fucking idea what to do next.

“Excuse me,” A little girl in blond pigtails carrying a book stepped up to Logan, “This has happened before you know. Last time a witch cursed a young princess to sleep for an eternity; the only thing that could cure her was a true loves first kiss. But, if you can’t find his true love, well maybe you could try going to the witch,” The little girl nudged her foot against a crack in the cobblestone smiling nervously up at Logan.

Logan knew she was probably nervous to do something that could be perceived as correcting an adult, but Logan was happy she did. Her idea was the only logical thing he’d heard all day; in a way, she reminded him of Scott. “Thanks kid,” Logan smiled at her what he hoped was a real smile and not a smirk or sneer.

“You’re welcome,” she chirped happily, her whole face lighting up.

“Uh, wait, kid,” Logan called to the young girl, “How do I find the witch?” Logan has never lived in a fairy tale.

He doesn’t know how to find a fucking witch. He doesn’t know how everything in his lifetime has led him to this point- he is inside some fucked up fairy tale trying to find his team leader’s fucking soul mate, so his team leader, and friend, isn’t stuck in an irreversible coma for all eternity, and all of this shit is happening because some bad guy has a fucked up mind and decided this is what he wanted to do to Logan.

Logan doesn’t know where to begin with how fucked up all of this is.

The kid gave him a quizzical look then simply pointed- to a winding mountain side with looming dark clouds above it; at the top sat a putrefying cabin, and Logan really didn’t know how he missed that.

“Oh, uh, thanks. Again.” Logan felt like a fucking idiot.

This entire fairy tale bullshit was fucking with his senses, mental and physical; all of this magic bullshit messed with his awareness, and his attentiveness has been seriously off kilter this entire day. Shit doesn’t follow the fucking laws of physics and just common fucking sense. Nothing makes any fucking sense.

Logan is starting to think he finally cracked, and this is all a figment of his imagination.

“Fuck it. As long as this is the weird ass reality I’m in I might as well play along,” so Logan walked. And walked. And walked. Until he finally – “fucking finally” – reached the decrepit cabin.

He didn’t really know the proper etiquette to follow by when asking a witch to save your friend from an irreversible true love coma, but he did know that if he acted like a douchebag she probably wouldn’t do shit for him. So he knocked on the door. And, surprise surprise, the door opened on its own and the inside of the cabin was pitch black. Logan was not a fucking idiot; you do not go inside a creepy fucking house especially if the door opens itself and you can’t see inside.

“Look,” Logan said taking a step back, “if there’s someone in there I would appreciate it if you came outside instead of me coming inside.” There he just said he wasn’t going inside that fucked up cabin, and he didn’t sound like too much of a dick.

“Oh, sorry here,” A voice called from inside the house, and then the clouds disappeared and the sun shined. The fuck. “Haha, yeah, sorry I do that to keep away solicitors,” once Logan went inside the surprisingly nice looking cabin a woman appeared in a large violet robe. At least Logan thought it was a woman. She was really fucking ugly, but Logan was pretty sure witches were only girls so . . . “Uh, my friend here is stuck in an irreversible coma unless he can be kissed by his true love by tomorrow. Any way you can help me with that?” Logan never said he was great with words.

“Nope.” The witch smiled.

Well damn.

At least she didn’t turn him into a frog.

“But, I could give you some advice,” well Logan was all ears it’s not like he had another plan.

“Shoot.” “Okay, well, have you exhausted all your resources?” Now that Logan got a good look at her[?] she looked familiar.

“Whaddaya’ mean?”

“You see that village down there. You could go down there and make everyone kiss your friend here; maybe one of them is his true love.” The witch pointed at the village.

“Already tried that. None of them were,” Logan thought this witch would be a lot more helpful than this.

“Well have you tried kissing him?” Oh fuck no. Logan decided to voice that thought, “Fuck no”.

“Well you should. You never know. You know I once knew this guy . . .”

“Any other ideas?” Logan was becoming impatient; not that he had a lot of patience to begin with.

“You could try walking to the other village over there,” the witch nodded over to the other village a ways away.

Well what else was Logan supposed to do just give up? He’d regret it for the rest of his life if Scott died because he gave up, so Logan thanked the witch and began walking again. And he walked. He really, really walked. By the time he got to the village it was eleven. He had one hour to save Scott. Fuck it, “IF THERE ARE ANY ADULTS IN THIS VILLAGE I NEED YOU TO COME OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW AND KISS MY FRIEND BEFOR HE FALLS INTO AN IRREVERSIBLE COMA.” He seemed to be saying fuck it a lot today.

A few people came out of their houses, but for the most part a lot of people didn’t give a shit. Fine he’ll just make people give a shit. “IF YOU PEOPLE DON’T COME OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW I WILL MASACRE ALL OF YOU AND STRING YOUR BODIES AROUND OTHER VILLAGES AS A WARNING TO ALL WHO DON’T LISTEN,” Logan belatedly realized there were probably children in this village, but in his defense he’d been through a lot today.

He might be about to lose his best friend without ever being able to tell him how much he really does appreciate him, he had to carry Scott through two villages and up a mountain, he’s also in this crazy fucking fairy tale, and he can’t retract his claws. He deserves to be pissed.

Thankfully this time everyone came outside looking much more willing to cooperate.

Fifty-five minutes later Logan was preparing to say goodbye to the best friend he’s ever had.

He’s really fucking scared.

Scott- Scott can’t die. He just- can’t.

Not again.

Not after all they’ve been through.

Not after all they’ve overcome.

Not after Logan- Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

He fell, didn’t he.

Shit.

He’s, fuck, he’s in love with Scott.

That’s- Logan doesn’t know. Logan doesn’t know anything anymore. He is sitting on a bench in the middle of a world that makes no sense to him staring at his team leader, friend, foe, bestfriend, love.

A tear slowly made its way down his cheek.

“Did you kiss him?” Another little girl in pigtails, this time brunette, asked.

“Huh?”

“You look like you really love him. You should try kissing him. It’s not like you have anything else up your sleeve right? So what do ya got to lose?” With that she walked off.

Logan didn’t do anything for a moment.

Not a single thought went through his head until- Well . . . one last fuck it couldn’t hurt.

So Logan kissed Scott.

One hand held his face while the other was wrapped around his waist.

Nothing.

When Logan began to pull back, arms wrapped around his neck and lips pushed insistently at his own.

“Scott! Fuck Scott I thought I’d never see you awake again,” Logan was elated to say the least.

“I never thought I’d see you again either,” Scott smiled a fucking gorgeous smile in Logan’s opinion.

“I could hear everything you know. I just couldn’t move. Thank you Logan. God, thank you so much,” Scott looked at him with something he couldn’t really identify, but he loved it.

“You’re welcome. I just . . .” That’s when Logan remembered he broke the curse. Him. Not anyone else. He kissed Scott. He was Scott’s true love.

“Kissed me.” Scott finished.

“Yeah which um- We’re- um- fuck it- I love you Scott,” Logan had said fuck it at least eight hundred times today why not one more time?

Scott, the bastard, laughed, “I know. I love you too.”

Scott and Logan kissed until the world around them faded.

Literally.

They opened their eyes to a lot of familiar people talking and laughing around them in the warehouse.

“The fuck?” It seems Scott and Logan had the same idea.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! PLEASE COMMENT!


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